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What Has My Life Come To?

5 Jul

I have been asking myself thIs question quite frequently. My life, this Summer, has turned into having a crush on fourteen-year old boys, reading trashy romance novels, watching Jerry Springer, and going on myspace like a twelve-year old. So, my life has turned into a hot mess, basically. I went from AP classes, theatre, and singing Jazz music to this.

But when I asked myself this last time I logged into myspace, I realized that I’m having more fun with my life then I had at all during the school year. I LIKE being partially stereotypical and partially pathetic. I think it’s fun. I’m listening to pop music and rap music and I’m not having to hide it.

So, what has my life come to? It’s gone past the point of no return. It’s gotten to the point of me not caring what anyone else thinks. And let me tell you what, it’s liberating.


I Had a Rough Week.

8 Apr

So, this week, as I’m sure you know, one of my friends went missing. And she was gone for about 36 hours. And I, along with the rest of my friends, was terrified. I slept an hour the night she went missing, and 3 the next night. Her phone was found in the bushes by some boys who decided that it would be a good idea to text some of us on it. Her car was found abandoned. Her dad hadn’t seen her all day, and neither had anyone else. They filed a missing persons report, we had all spoken to the school cop, and Seth and I had spoken to the actual police department. Then they found her! She was in a closet within a closet in the guest room that used to be her bedroom and where she would go to read sometimes. So, you’d think, that after they found her, everything would be okay. She could just explain what happened and everything would be fine and dandy. Well, not fine and dandy, but better, at least. But no. She’s stuck three years in the past. She thinks she’s 15 and she doesn’t remember anyone that she’s met since Summer after Freshman year. She’s a senior. I met her this year. She does, however, recognize one boy who she met this year. She doesn’t know why, but she recognizes him and remembers one of their inside jokes. She doesn’t remember me at all. My friend Josh told me this in math class. The conversation went like this:

Josh: She doesn’t remember you. You came up in the conversation – I don’t know why-

Me: Eh. It happens a lot. Apparently I’m fun to talk about.

Josh: Yeah, you kinda are. Anyway, so you came up, and she said “Susannah? I don’t recognize that name at all.”

That was it for me. She doesn’t recognize me, but of course the one boy she DOES recognize is the one person in the drama department who I’ve had issues with ALL YEAR. She doesn’t recognize her best friend or her boyfriend, either, so I guess I shouldn’t feel that bad, but I think it’s just cause it’s that certain boy. And poor Josh. He tells me this and I start crying in the middle of math class.

This whole situation also raises so many questions that I would like to know the answers to.

Where was she all this time? Especially overnight.

Why was her phone in the bushes?

Why was her car abandoned?

Will she ever remember me? What if she doesn’t? (And DON’T say that we’ll make new memories.)

Why is it him that she remembers?

Christmas Dinner

27 Dec

This morning, I woke up at 6, glazed the ham, even touched the pineapples (ick!)  to put on the top, and then stuck it in the roaster pan. It was way less difficult than I thought it was going to be.  Then I went back to bed for 2 more hours. When I woke up again at 9, I got right to work on the green bean casserole. Now, this is not just any nasty mushroom soup casserole, cause those things are gross. This one is like sour cream and cheesy goodness. I also made cornbread muffins, and they stuck at the bottom of the tin and I almost had a meltdown, but I managed not to haha. I also managed to burn myself non the boiling water when I boiled the potatoes, which was. . . Nice. Then the ham was ready. My mom carved up the ham and it was delish! I feel super dooper accomplished.

10+ Things you Might not Know About Me

2 Dec
  1. My favorite musical of all time is Rent. A distant second is Wicked, but Rent wins by a long shot. I actually don’t like to watch the movie with my friends because it’s extremely stressful for me since I’m afraid they won’t like it.
  2. I can’t stand it when people say “anyways.” OMG it’s NOT A WORD! it should be “anyway.” It just drives me crazy!
  3. I don’t really like wearing pants. I would rather be wearing a dress anytime. Like I don’t care if it’s 26 degrees out, I’ll probably be wearing a dress. Don’t ask why I don’t like pants, I just don’t.
  4. My very best friend in the whole wide world and I have been friends for almost 10 years. It started in 1st grade when we had matching shoes. We still do, actually.
  5. Even though I am probably one of the loudest people you’ll ever meet, I honestly don’t like being in super loud situations. They make me feel uncomfortable.
  6. I am one of the most competitive people you will ever meet. I really can’t stand losing. At all. Like if you’ve done it twice, I’ve done it three times. Or I’ve done something better than that twice. You know?
  7. I would someday like to play Mimi in a Broadway production of RENT. She is my favorite character in the show.
  8. I once performed on the stage at the 5th Avenue theater, one of the professional theaters in Seattle, in a number from a musical I was in, The Wiz.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
  9. The book “The Reader” totally changed the way I look at my life. It is in my top 3 favorite books of all time.  I used to see things in a completely black/white, right/wrong, kind of way. Now I realize that there are a lot of grey areas in life that you can’t really categorize.
  10. I am always freezing. Always. It can be 80 degrees out and I will be wearing a jacket, so I really hate how cold it gets in Seattle in the wintertime, so I can’t imagine moving anywhere colder!